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Grrrrr...enelle !




Quelle est l'espérance de vie d'un "Grenelle de l'environnement" impulsé par une droite dure ? C'est une recherche fondamentale que d'audacieux chercheurs en sciences politiques ont lancé, grandeur nature, en France.







Ils ont tiré au sort pour savoir qui devait s'y coller, et c'est Alain Juppé qui a tendu la plus courte paille à ses collègues soulagés. Un peu ennuyé du résultat, légèrement craintif à l'idée de pouvoir devenir populaire, le ministre à peine couronné a sombré dans le mysticisme le plus obscur et s'est mis à invoquer Dieu de toutes ses forces. Ces ferventes prières ont fini par toucher le Tout-Puissant, qui ne rejette aucun de ses enfants (fut-il l'auteur du CIP), et celui-ci, dans sa grandeur, décida, l'air de rien, de soulager le pauvre pécheur.

Il a cherché du regard un remplaçant crédible, et comme à ce moment-là Jean-Louis Borloo fumait un joint en scred, il l'a désigné. Légèrement euphorisé, la nouveau volontaire a beaucoup ri d'un rire stupide. Tout le monde s'est regardé, et chacun a pensé : il est parfait pour le rôle. Mais comme le nouveau ministre, une fois à jeun, a soudainement compris de quel bizutage il était la victime, il a cherché des moyens pour atténuer sa peine. Il a beaucoup pleuré auprès de Dieu, beaucoup imploré, si bien que Dieu a été clément. Il a pris une côte sur le flanc de Jean-Louis et il a fait Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet.

Tous deux s'éveillèrent au monde que Dieu avait créé pour eux, et ils se baladèrent dans le grand Jardin de la Création, remplis de joie en découvrant tout à tour les énergies renouvelables, la continuité incroyable de la chaîne alimentaire, les cycles naturels capables de se perpétuer à l'infini, les harmonies subtiles et profondes des écosystèmes... Ils étaient émerveillés par une telle abondance, la nature leur offrait ses fruits gratuitement. Mais Dieu avait prévenu les deux créatures qu'il ne fallait jamais manger du fruit de la connaissance, il ne fallait pas croquer la pomme transgénique qui pourtant semblait si bonne, parfaitement calibrée, la seule qu'aucun insecte n'osait escalader, qu'aucun vers ne pouvait pénétrer sans être châtié de mort.

Pendant ce temps, le serpent Monsanto avait discrètement établi de solides ramifications sur tous les continents, et infiltré tous les gouvernements. Il ne cessait d'encourager les hommes à planter toujours plus de pommiers transgéniques. Les pommes qui en sortaient étaient stériles et toxiques, mais Monsanto, qui gagnait beaucoup d'argent en vendant les pommiers qui auparavant poussaient librement, offrait de généreuses récompenses à ceux qui forceraient les plus faibles à cultiver et manger cette nouvelle pomme de discorde. Et son influence grandissait.

Tellement, qu'il arriva un jour où les sénateurs se réunirent, et où ils décidèrent qu'il fallait en finir avec ce stupide projet de Grenelle. Ils disaient qu'il fallait redescendre sur Terre, manger la pomme et faire des profits.

La nouvelle fit grand bruit et les députés, représentatifs de tout le village céleste, furent à leur tour saisi du projet. Ils se disputèrent beaucoup, mais Monsanto fut tellement fort qu'il parvint à mobiliser largement ses alliés de toujours, les députés UMP, pour se battre à ses côtés. Peu de temps avant que n'intervienne le vote, le jeu obscur du serpent Monsanto fut démasqué par une enquête précise et documentée, que diffusa la chaîne franco-allemande Arte.

Malgré ce coup de lumière porté sur les réseaux opaques de la grande firme, et alors que 4 habitants du village sur 5 au moins ne voulaient pas de ces nouvelles pommes, et que même certains UMP se rebellaient contre Monsanto, il y eut une courte majorité (21 voies) en faveur du projet. Il fallait faire manger de force les pommes transgéniques aux deux candides et à tous leurs descendants ! On se retrouverait propulsé sur Terre, où, enfin, les lois de la concurrence et du libre marché allaient pouvoir s'appliquer sans barrière, et tant pis pour la Création de Dieu !

C'est finalement Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet qui a fait les frais de cette aventure, car dans le royaume où nous emmène cette pomme, ce n'est pas exactement le courage qui est récompensé. Corrine Lepage s'exprime à ce sujet sur France 2.

Les scientifiques qui avaient judicieusement tenté l'expérimentation en plein champ de l'écologie de droite, ont désormais leur réponse. Un Grenelle vert UMP a une espérance de vie de 5 mois. En plus, il parait que l'on ne peut pas replanter...


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Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/ecrire/tools/multicat/functions.php on line 539

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Calendrier


Deprecated: Non-static method util::getNextPrev() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 110

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Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

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Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

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Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

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Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

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Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

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Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 139

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 138

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 139

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 138

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 139

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 138

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 139

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 138

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Deprecated: Non-static method dt::str() should not be called statically, assuming $this from incompatible context in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/layout/class.xblog.php on line 139

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35

Strict Standards: Non-static method dt::_callback() should not be called statically in /home/gillesbe/www/ramassi/dotclear/inc/libs/lib.date.php on line 35
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